I was just thinking about what really comprises Happiness for me.  Happiness is an essential for everyone, and it’s so generic and specific, all at the same time.  Generic as in what makes one Happy, can be similar across the board.  Yet again, it’s specific, private and personal to the individual.  The reason for the personal and private specificity lies in that we are all different, and encased in the same shell called human.  We have different thoughts, different emotions, and different actions.  One definition of Happiness may be common to a group of people, but what makes that definition peculiar to the individual is how that person interprets, feels, and acts upon it.  No one person is the same.

Having started this blog since January 2008, I’ve realised that I’ve not written down what Happiness really means to me here.  Three years early or late is not the issue.  The point is, I know what makes me Happy.  Do you know what makes you truly Happy?  Are you living your Happiness birthright right now?  What can you do to move forward to being truly Happy?

At different stages of human development, what makes us Happy changes accordingly.  For instance, as a child, being loved by your parents makes you Happy.  As a teenager, having many good friends and sports makes you Happy.  As an adult, success at work, lots of money, and having a happy family makes you Happy.  As a senior, seeing your children get married and taking care of your grandchildren makes you Happy.  The definition of Happiness is fluid and ever-changing to our current needs and wants.

After a good, long think, I realised that there are some components of Happiness that are constant and stable for me.  These are my Happiness ‘juice’ – a never-ending supply that continuously makes me Happy.  Interestingly, they fit nicely into a tetrahedral shape, which I call as “My Happiness tetrahedron”.  Tetrahedrons are one of the strongest, if not the strongest, structures known.  You can see my Happiness tetrahedron below.

In the Happiness tetrahedron above, you can see 5 words – Spirituality, Love, Wealth, Health, and Peace.  These 5 words make up the tetrahedron.

This is my Happiness tetrahedron which depict what makes me Happy.  Firstly, spirituality is very important to me.  Being in touch with who I am at the spiritual level organises everything in the manner and form that’s appropriate for me.  Secondly, love makes me Happy and fulfilled with life and people, especially my loved ones.  Thirdly, wealth is important as a vehicle for material prosperity.  It is the oil that makes the engines of my life smoother and easier to transport from one destination to another.  Fourthly, health is very important as well.  Health makes me Happy and able to enjoy and appreciate the things and people in life.  Lastly, peace.  Being at peace is something that makes me Happy.  I enjoy the stillness and tranquility.  Especially in the hustle and bustle of life, peace is even more valuable to me.

I’ll be sharing more on my Happiness tetrahedron in the future.  What makes you Happy?  What is your Happiness tetrahedron?  I will love to hear from you.

This is a selection from my Positive tips of the day 2011 which I like best and find to be the most meaningful.  Here, I will share the thought processes behind it and how to apply it to your lives!

You can get it when you subscribe (shanscribe!) to my blog with my compliments!

Make yourself happy first.  And others will be. – Yip Pei Shan

I have had people confide in me saying they are desperately unhappy. I asked them, “What are the things that make you Happy?”  One of the most common answers was making their loved ones Happy.

The next thing I asked them was, “Are your loved ones Happy?”

Some said yes, some said no, some said maybe.

“Are you sure?” I pressed.

Most of them said no.  For those who said yes or maybe, they really want to believe their loved ones are Happy (whether or not they really are is another matter altogether).

The reason is that we are all unique beings.  How do we know what exactly is going on in the hearts and minds of others, especially our loved ones?  Moreover, the closer you are to the person, the more unsure you are of knowing whether are they really Happy.

One definite way of making your loved ones Happy is to be Happy yourself first.  When you are Happy, your loved ones will be Happy when they see you Happy.  Likewise, when you see your loved ones Happy, you will be Happier.  This builds into what I call “The Happy Cycle”.  The Happiness builds on the Happiness of your loved ones, creating a sustaining fuel for positive events, and a continuing buffer for negative events in your lives.

Now, you may think that this is very selfish of you to do – to  make yourself Happy first.  Herein, you need to have a mindset shift, because, if you make your loved ones Happy first, you are being very selfish.

I reiterate, if you make your loved ones Happy first, you are being very selfish.

How is this so?  When you make your loved ones Happy first, it is true and evident they will be Happy.  However, their Happiness will be short-lived if they truly love you.  They will gradually be unhappy for seemingly insignificant reasons, which would make you more perplexed and frustrated.  You do not understand how come your loved ones are unhappy, when you have placed their Happiness above yours.  After all, you have sacrificed your Happiness to make them Happy, right?

Nevertheless, there is something you have overlooked.  Your loved ones love you, and when they love you, they want YOU to be Happy.

When your loved ones love you, they want you to be Happy.

Happiness does not entail sacrifice in this sense.  The Happy cycle requires a win-win situation.  Your loved ones, and you, must be Happy.  It is like a bank account.  If your emotional bank account is in the negative, there is no way others around you can be Happy.  However, if your emotional bank account is overflowing with Happiness, you can give others a slice (or more) of your Happiness, and still be fulfilled to give more and more.

Do you have a positive emotional bank account?  Have it positive, and cash it in to build the Happy cycle in your lives.

Happiness is being who you really are. That takes courage and faith in yourself. – Yip Pei Shan

In the course of my life experiences, I have met many people who are on different steps on the path of Happiness.

I have noticed one thing in common among those on the Happy quest, and that is they are all courageous, and believe in themselves. Courage is needed to pursue what you believe to make you Happy. Also, a firm faith in themselves is essential to sustain their stride on the path of Happiness.

Are you courageous and faithful enough to be who you really are, Happily?

What does Happiness and love got to do with each other?  The interesting measures of cohesive home-life, overall soundness, coping style and object relations were all strongly related.  The winners in life were reportedly having the warmest childhoods, best overall soundness, the most mature coping styles and the best object relationships, consequently leading to more fulfilling lives – the good life.  This translates into higher incomes, higher occupational prestige, longevity, better health, and good relationships, among other things.

Indeed,

Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to Love. – Virgil

I love looking at the good things in my life.  There are definitely some, if not a lot of nasty stuff that happens, but I choose to let them go.  Only by letting them go past me, or through me, can I experience the great moments that life has to offer.

Treasure each lovely moment, and celebrate!

One of the philosophies I’ve had in life is that change is the only constant.  This proverb was inspired with the influx of changes this month – competing in speech contests, my birthday celebrations, the passing away of a friend, etc.

It brings to the fore the fragility of life.  Have you done and said the things that matter most to you?

I took part in the International Speeches and Table Topics Contest and won the International Speeches Contest!!!

Jubilations!!!  I literally jumped and was on a high ever since!

I’ll like to thank all my wonderful and encouraging supporters, especially to Hua and Gary!!!  Thank you for your physical presence, which gave me added strength and charisma!  Thank you for your uplifting words of encouragement which gave me added motivation to speak better and better!  Without all of you, I would not be where I am today.

Without listeners, there would be no speakers – Yip Pei Shan

Remember my message.  Trophies will fade, but the message I share with you, I want it to be imprinted in your hearts and gain inspiration when you need it.  You are never alone!

A big thank you to my mentors, friends, Shun, mum, who have guided me in their own special ways. Thank you! Last but not least, to my late Grandfather, my inspiration and icon who lives in the hearts of everyone who loves him, this is for YOU!

Congratulations’ wishes from some loved ones

“When you take part, it’s a walkover.  The others are just wasting their time!  Congratulations!” Grace Soo

“Congratulations!  Excellent speech!”  Yong Jinhua

“You did great today …!  And again, congrats on your first winning with more first prizes to come! …” Gary Loy

“You won?  Congratulations!  I knew you are the best!” Anita Yip

“Congrats, well done champ..:)” Sylvester Dorai

“Well done …” Gea Ban Peng

“Wow!  Congratulations!” Brennan Khor

“Congratulations Peishan!  Your passion on making people happy through your speeches and life outlook is overwhelming.  Keep it up!” Christine Gonzales and Marco Rubi-Cruz

“Congrats!:)” Azizah Sapari

“Nice!  Congrats! …” Darren Lim

“Wow!  Congrats!  That’s good news! … Can’t wait to see you speak again!  Wish you all the best and hope you can make it to the international level!” He Huang Xin

“Congrats!” Lim Hock Ming

“Congrats!” Au Ji Yin

“Congratulations.  Wow.  All the best … you will do just great.  Keep it up!” Michael Chang

“Congrats.” Samsudin

“Wow.  Congratulations:D  Must celebrate …!” Serena Lim

“Wow congrats! …” Kong Xieheng

“Congrats.” Jerlynn Ang

“Congratulations!  You are great:D” Nicole Tuo

“Wow that’s great! Congratulations:) …” Divya Shankar

“Congrats Peishan I’m really happy for you… I’m inspired by you:)” Kiranjeet Kaur

“Congrats!” Koh Chi Wei

“Hey Peishan, congrats …”  Brian Wong Jia Jie

“Congrats(:  Will look forward to hearing your speech once again…” Sally Tan

“Congratulations:)  Shan!  You can be international champion!  Keep it up! …” Lwin

“Congratulations my shining friend!  Keep reaching for the stars!” Dexter David

“Oh great. Congratulations…” Gopal Srinivasan

“Hey, well done!…” Byron Nifakis

“… Congrats …” Sng Yao Le

“1st place?  Congrats:)” Gerald Ong

“Congrats!  Well done! …” Wekie Tay

“Congratulations to you.  Keep up the good work…” Jenny Au

“Congrats!  You certainly are an inspiration to us…” Alvin Ong

“Well done!  I know you can do it! …” Bai Jinshun

“Congratulations!:D” Weng

“Ha ha I am sure no one is your match because you are the best…” Tavis Tan

“Well done, I’m up there flying with you! No idea what it is but I’m sure you were fabulous … Well done Shan, you are still an inspiration to me.” Felicity Picken

“Congrats… So happy for ya. …” Jessica Tang

“Congratulations” Willy Wong

“Congrats!” Evelyn Goh

“Congrats! Hip! Hip! Hooray!” Jean Lee

“Hi Shanshine, that’s absolutely great! Expected nothing less from you.Just fly…..” Klaus Nienhaus

“Congratulations!” Patricia Tan

“That’s great, congratulations dear!” Wenjing

“Congratulations Pei Shan! Am so glad for you” Antonia Beetsma

“Well done, Ringlets, you deserve it!” John Bittleston

“What a marvellous success! Congratulations!” Cathy Chen

“Congrats! You are a good + clever girl… Cheers…” Jessie Lee

“Congratulations. …” Edmund Chew

“Congratulations!! This feeling of winning is always great.” Ang Chew Hoe

“Congrats!” Daphne Loo

“Well done Pei Shan. I shall have to come and watch your next performance.” Dennis Heath

“Wow. that’s great. Congrats…..” Fredy Siloy

“Wow you have won!  Congrats..” Emeline Koh

“Congratulations Shan! May the Sun Shine on you Shanshine!” Coen Tan

“Well done! *pats*” Alvin Ho

“Congrats.. It’s a nice feeling to be a champ …” Sylvia Ang

“Wow! Congratulations! =D” Joanne Ng

“Shan, Congrats ~ Congrats ~ on your winning of the international speeches contest )
Am sure you will do even better as time goes by..:)) :p” Yu Long

“… congratulations on your victory! I KNEW you could do it!
Keep reaching for the top, and know that I’m pulling for you, ALL THE WAY!!” Ed Hearn

“You must be really good to win that…keep it up.  Congratulations… wish you [the] very best and I believe you can…cheers” Serena Lim

I just got onto Facebook yesterday and it was a phenomenal experience! Wow!

Now I know why people can get addicted to Facebook. It is a social networking tool that relies a lot on psychological principles.

It’s addictive because:

1. You know that there are people behind the screen who are clicking and moving their mouse for YOU.
2. They are doing this because they are THINKING of you.
3. If they are thinking of you, it means that they FEEL some sort of emotions for you, be it LIKE or LOVE or CURIOSITY or HATE, etc (I think hate will not come into the picture because you can ignore them)
4. This makes you feel LOVED, WANTED, NEEDED, IMPORTANT, VALUED, FAMOUS, ESTEEMED, which is vital for the emotive side of people.

Some other powerful uses of Facebook:

1. Get people to notice you in a more personal manner (may be bordering on narcissism, beware of this)
2. Another alternative method to keep in touch with people globally
3. Know more people
4. Know the RIGHT people
5. Know more people for a motive (eg. to market your services, market and look for career advanced opportunities, source for talent, share knowledge)
6. Have cyber-fun (I prefer face-to-face fun)

I use the word “know” loosely as it is really depends on how you want to “know” people.  Some questions to help define what you want from Facebook.

• What do you want to achieve from Facebook?
• How do you define “know” specifically?
• When do you say “no” to “know”?

I’m playing on the pun here, as I experienced firsthand the addiction of Facebook.  Get these questions answered, and you’re on your way to a great dose of Happiness and fun marketing!

P.S. Let’s have fun if you need help in solving what’s the “right” people for you to know.

The relationship between life and bumper cars

Life is like bumper cars.  You take a few knocks along the way, smile; life still goes on. – Yip Pei Shan

I wa playing bumper cars at Luna Park, Sydney, Australia, a few days ago and came up with this bump of wisdom.  Everyone was all smiles and yet they were enduring hard knocks from people they know or did not know.  We were all confined at a certain point in time and space, yet it was filled with positive feelings, fun and enjoyment.  It’s an excellent attitude to take with us back into our reality of living.  For what is reality but a construction of our minds?  Let us smile and live life with optimism, fun and enjoyment!