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Category — Happiness

The Happiness tetrahedron

My definition of Happiness

I was just thinking about what really comprises Happiness for me.  Happiness is an essential for everyone, and it’s so generic and specific, all at the same time.  Generic as in what makes one Happy, can be similar across the board.  Yet again, it’s specific, private and personal to the individual.  The reason for the personal and private specificity lies in that we are all different, and encased in the same shell called human.  We have different thoughts, different emotions, and different actions.  One definition of Happiness may be common to a group of people, but what makes that definition peculiar to the individual is how that person interprets, feels, and acts upon it.  No one person is the same.

Having started this blog since January 2008, I’ve realised that I’ve not written down what Happiness really means to me here.  Three years early or late is not the issue.  The point is, I know what makes me Happy.  Do you know what makes you truly Happy?  Are you living your Happiness birthright right now?  What can you do to move forward to being truly Happy?

At different stages of human development, what makes us Happy changes accordingly.  For instance, as a child, being loved by your parents makes you Happy.  As a teenager, having many good friends and sports makes you Happy.  As an adult, success at work, lots of money, and having a happy family makes you Happy.  As a senior, seeing your children get married and taking care of your grandchildren makes you Happy.  The definition of Happiness is fluid and ever-changing to our current needs and wants.

After a good, long think, I realised that there are some components of Happiness that are constant and stable for me.  These are my Happiness ‘juice’ – a never-ending supply that continuously makes me Happy.  Interestingly, they fit nicely into a tetrahedral shape, which I call as “My Happiness tetrahedron”.  Tetrahedrons are one of the strongest, if not the strongest, structures known.  You can see my Happiness tetrahedron below.

The Happiness tetrahedron

In the Happiness tetrahedron above, you can see 5 words – Spirituality, Love, Wealth, Health, and Peace.  These 5 words make up the tetrahedron.

This is my Happiness tetrahedron which depict what makes me Happy.  Firstly, spirituality is very important to me.  Being in touch with who I am at the spiritual level organises everything in the manner and form that’s appropriate for me.  Secondly, love makes me Happy and fulfilled with life and people, especially my loved ones.  Thirdly, wealth is important as a vehicle for material prosperity.  It is the oil that makes the engines of my life smoother and easier to transport from one destination to another.  Fourthly, health is very important as well.  Health makes me Happy and able to enjoy and appreciate the things and people in life.  Lastly, peace.  Being at peace is something that makes me Happy.  I enjoy the stillness and tranquility.  Especially in the hustle and bustle of life, peace is even more valuable to me.

I’ll be sharing more on my Happiness tetrahedron in the future.  What makes you Happy?  What is your Happiness tetrahedron?  I will love to hear from you.

September 1, 2011   1 Comment

10 Golden Quotes for Happiness!

Unveiling my 10 Golden Quotes for Happiness very, very soon!

This is a selection from my Positive tips of the day 2011 which I like best and find to be the most meaningful.  Here, I will share the thought processes behind it and how to apply it to your lives!

You can get it when you subscribe (shanscribe!) to my blog with my compliments!

July 5, 2011   No Comments

Words of wisdom: The Happy cycle

Sure-win way for everyone to be Happy

Make yourself happy first.  And others will be. – Yip Pei Shan

I have had people confide in me saying they are desperately unhappy. I asked them, “What are the things that make you Happy?”  One of the most common answers was making their loved ones Happy.

The next thing I asked them was, “Are your loved ones Happy?”

Some said yes, some said no, some said maybe.

“Are you sure?” I pressed.

Most of them said no.  For those who said yes or maybe, they really want to believe their loved ones are Happy (whether or not they really are is another matter altogether).

The reason is that we are all unique beings.  How do we know what exactly is going on in the hearts and minds of others, especially our loved ones?  Moreover, the closer you are to the person, the more unsure you are of knowing whether are they really Happy.

One definite way of making your loved ones Happy is to be Happy yourself first.  When you are Happy, your loved ones will be Happy when they see you Happy.  Likewise, when you see your loved ones Happy, you will be Happier.  This builds into what I call “The Happy Cycle”.  The Happiness builds on the Happiness of your loved ones, creating a sustaining fuel for positive events, and a continuing buffer for negative events in your lives.

Now, you may think that this is very selfish of you to do – to  make yourself Happy first.  Herein, you need to have a mindset shift, because, if you make your loved ones Happy first, you are being very selfish.

I reiterate, if you make your loved ones Happy first, you are being very selfish.

How is this so?  When you make your loved ones Happy first, it is true and evident they will be Happy.  However, their Happiness will be short-lived if they truly love you.  They will gradually be unhappy for seemingly insignificant reasons, which would make you more perplexed and frustrated.  You do not understand how come your loved ones are unhappy, when you have placed their Happiness above yours.  After all, you have sacrificed your Happiness to make them Happy, right?

Nevertheless, there is something you have overlooked.  Your loved ones love you, and when they love you, they want YOU to be Happy.

When your loved ones love you, they want you to be Happy.

Happiness does not entail sacrifice in this sense.  The Happy cycle requires a win-win situation.  Your loved ones, and you, must be Happy.  It is like a bank account.  If your emotional bank account is in the negative, there is no way others around you can be Happy.  However, if your emotional bank account is overflowing with Happiness, you can give others a slice (or more) of your Happiness, and still be fulfilled to give more and more.

Do you have a positive emotional bank account?  Have it positive, and cash it in to build the Happy cycle in your lives.

November 11, 2010   No Comments

Words of wisdom: Happiness and being you

Courage and faith in Happiness

Happiness is being who you really are. That takes courage and faith in yourself. – Yip Pei Shan

In the course of my life experiences, I have met many people who are on different steps on the path of Happiness.

I have noticed one thing in common among those on the Happy quest, and that is they are all courageous, and believe in themselves. Courage is needed to pursue what you believe to make you Happy. Also, a firm faith in themselves is essential to sustain their stride on the path of Happiness.

Are you courageous and faithful enough to be who you really are, Happily?

November 4, 2010   No Comments

My musings on ‘Yes, I Stand by My Words, “Happiness Equals Love—Full Stop”’

Just read George’s Yes, I Stand by My Words, “Happiness Equals Love—Full Stop”. Agreed! I’ve always found myself being most Happy with my loved ones. Looking at the past International Happiness Day actions, I’ve realised many of the actions are with the people we love.

What does Happiness and love got to do with each other?  The interesting measures of cohesive home-life, overall soundness, coping style and object relations were all strongly related.  The winners in life were reportedly having the warmest childhoods, best overall soundness, the most mature coping styles and the best object relationships, consequently leading to more fulfilling lives – the good life.  This translates into higher incomes, higher occupational prestige, longevity, better health, and good relationships, among other things.

Indeed,

Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to Love. – Virgil

July 18, 2009   No Comments