Sure-win way for everyone to be Happy

Make yourself happy first.  And others will be. – Yip Pei Shan

I have had people confide in me saying they are desperately unhappy. I asked them, “What are the things that make you Happy?”  One of the most common answers was making their loved ones Happy.

The next thing I asked them was, “Are your loved ones Happy?”

Some said yes, some said no, some said maybe.

“Are you sure?” I pressed.

Most of them said no.  For those who said yes or maybe, they really want to believe their loved ones are Happy (whether or not they really are is another matter altogether).

The reason is that we are all unique beings.  How do we know what exactly is going on in the hearts and minds of others, especially our loved ones?  Moreover, the closer you are to the person, the more unsure you are of knowing whether are they really Happy.

One definite way of making your loved ones Happy is to be Happy yourself first.  When you are Happy, your loved ones will be Happy when they see you Happy.  Likewise, when you see your loved ones Happy, you will be Happier.  This builds into what I call “The Happy Cycle”.  The Happiness builds on the Happiness of your loved ones, creating a sustaining fuel for positive events, and a continuing buffer for negative events in your lives.

Now, you may think that this is very selfish of you to do – to  make yourself Happy first.  Herein, you need to have a mindset shift, because, if you make your loved ones Happy first, you are being very selfish.

I reiterate, if you make your loved ones Happy first, you are being very selfish.

How is this so?  When you make your loved ones Happy first, it is true and evident they will be Happy.  However, their Happiness will be short-lived if they truly love you.  They will gradually be unhappy for seemingly insignificant reasons, which would make you more perplexed and frustrated.  You do not understand how come your loved ones are unhappy, when you have placed their Happiness above yours.  After all, you have sacrificed your Happiness to make them Happy, right?

Nevertheless, there is something you have overlooked.  Your loved ones love you, and when they love you, they want YOU to be Happy.

When your loved ones love you, they want you to be Happy.

Happiness does not entail sacrifice in this sense.  The Happy cycle requires a win-win situation.  Your loved ones, and you, must be Happy.  It is like a bank account.  If your emotional bank account is in the negative, there is no way others around you can be Happy.  However, if your emotional bank account is overflowing with Happiness, you can give others a slice (or more) of your Happiness, and still be fulfilled to give more and more.

Do you have a positive emotional bank account?  Have it positive, and cash it in to build the Happy cycle in your lives.

My beloved friends,

Relax and invigorate your hearts and minds with Ms Shanshine, as she reveals secrets on Winning over burnout!

• What is the essence of Winning over burnout?
• What are the four secrets to Winning over burnout?

Challenge yourselves with Shan lighting up your neural circuits to create your own personalised strategies in Winning over burnout!

Details as follows:

Venue: Nanyang Polytechnic, School of Health Sciences, Nursing Alumni Association, Lecture Theatre, 180 Ang Mo Kio Avenue, Singapore
Date: 25 November 2009
Time: 6-8pm

With love,
Shanshine

Shan’s musing on resilience and tenacity: An experience to inspire

On the theme of resilience and tenacity, this came to mind.

Life is like bumper cars. You take a few knocks along the way, smile; life still goes on. – Yip Pei Shan

Resilience (n.d.) is defined as an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.  To quantify and qualify, the adversity quotient (AQ) is the science of human resilience.

Change is the only constant. - Heraclitus

This is one of my favourite quotes from this famous Greek Philosopher known for his change universal theory. Change and resilience are closely interwined.  Everyone experiences change on an intimate basis.  Change may be good, bad, or neutral.  It is a state of difference, not of constance.

Life is full of constant changes. We experience changes in life stages (transitioning from womb to tomb), social, emotional, mental, physical, and lifestyles.

There is one interesting experience I still remember to this day. [Read more →]

I am a WINNER in my first time ever in the International Speeches Contest!

I took part in the International Speeches and Table Topics Contest and won the International Speeches Contest!!!

Jubilations!!!  I literally jumped and was on a high ever since!

I’ll like to thank all my wonderful and encouraging supporters, especially to Hua and Gary!!!  Thank you for your physical presence, which gave me added strength and charisma!  Thank you for your uplifting words of encouragement which gave me added motivation to speak better and better!  Without all of you, I would not be where I am today.

Without listeners, there would be no speakers – Yip Pei Shan

Remember my message.  Trophies will fade, but the message I share with you, I want it to be imprinted in your hearts and gain inspiration when you need it.  You are never alone!

A big thank you to my mentors, friends, Shun, mum, who have guided me in their own special ways. Thank you! Last but not least, to my late Grandfather, my inspiration and icon who lives in the hearts of everyone who loves him, this is for YOU!

Congratulations’ wishes from some loved ones

“When you take part, it’s a walkover.  The others are just wasting their time!  Congratulations!” Grace Soo

“Congratulations!  Excellent speech!”  Yong Jinhua

“You did great today …!  And again, congrats on your first winning with more first prizes to come! …” Gary Loy

[Read more →]

What is Shan’s MOMENTs?

Due to several requests, I will oblige by restating the popular Shan’s MOMENTs’ acronym.  This is tracked back to Free Stories-Alive! series: MOMENTs in time (Most Touching Story!).

What does MOMENT mean to me?

M: Be the MASTER of your life.

O: Be OPEN to the full spectrum of emotions, thoughts and experiences you feel.

M: Make every MOMENT count.

E: ENJOY each emotion, thought and experience.

N: Just do it NOW!

T: TELL one person one reason for loving them each day.

I was sharing with Alex yesterday, money can be earned back, but time cannot be earned back.  Once the MOMENT in time is gone, it is gone.  Savour each MOMENT, Master your life, be Open, Enjoy, just do it NOW, Tell someone one reason you love them.

I am listening to Gregorian’s Once In A Lifetime, wind rustling in my hair, experiencing complete contentment and peace in MY MOMENT.  What are you doing in your MOMENT NOW?