Relax and invigorate your hearts and minds with Ms Shanshine, as she reveals secrets on Winning over burnout!

• What is the essence of Winning over burnout?
• What are the four secrets to Winning over burnout?

Challenge yourselves with Shan lighting up your neural circuits to create your own personalised strategies in Winning over burnout!

Details as follows:

Venue: Nanyang Polytechnic, School of Health Sciences, Nursing Alumni Association, Lecture Theatre, 180 Ang Mo Kio Avenue, Singapore
Date: 25 November 2009
Time: 6-8pm

With love,
Shanshine

On the theme of resilience and tenacity, this came to mind.

Life is like bumper cars. You take a few knocks along the way, smile; life still goes on. – Yip Pei Shan

Resilience (n.d.) is defined as an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.  To quantify and qualify, the adversity quotient (AQ) is the science of human resilience.

Change is the only constant. - Heraclitus

This is one of my favourite quotes from this famous Greek Philosopher known for his change universal theory. Change and resilience are closely interwined.  Everyone experiences change on an intimate basis.  Change may be good, bad, or neutral.  It is a state of difference, not of constance.

Life is full of constant changes. We experience changes in life stages (transitioning from womb to tomb), social, emotional, mental, physical, and lifestyles.

There is one interesting experience I still remember to this day. I had been accepted into the study of my choice, Interactive Media Design, after vigorous screenings and interviews. Just by being in the prestigious and exclusive design course at that time would gain the respect and admiration of my peers in other faculties. Of course, we did not have a lot of time to bask in our glorified status in school. We had 10-20 projects to complete each week, comprising painting, drawing, photography, typography, social communication skills, copywriting, animation, electronic media, videography, etc. We would be in and out of school looking for locations to film, shoot, paint or draw in various mediums. Inspirational blocks came often, and we were always frustrated when that came. Somehow, I still found time to pursue my love of music and helping friends in other design courses.

We had the liberty to be cool, as long as we completed our projects well and on time. Presentations were a dime a dozen. I enjoyed photography, with funny memories of being cloistered in a tiny dark room with lots of other friends, and one of them letting out gas from the rear. In the midst of developing our photos, I had cut my thumb without even realising it as we were rushing to get our projects done. Only when my friend discovered in the well-lit area, did we realise it was bleeding profusely. All our photos had blood on them. It was indeed blood, sweat and tears.

Everything was going well. I was busy and happy. However, after we had chosen our specialisations, my grades started going downhill.  I had chosen the wrong specialisation.  Friendships soured from a clash of personalities and the intense constant pressure. The time for presenting our major projects arrived. Our presentations were a nice term for harsh criticism, where you either excelled or failed. Needless to say, I failed all.

I was kicked out of my course, with all my dreams of being a great designer dashed. It was a depressing time in my life, taking me a whole twelve months to get my act together again. I enrolled in another course of my choice, determined to excel in all aspects.

What happened in my second attempt at study? I found the best friends in my life, keeping them close to me up to now. Academically, I was in the top 5% in my large cohort; the cream of the crop. I gained exceptional life skills which I still keep to this day – a great focus, an iron will and discipline, a courage to weather all adversities, excellent time management and prioritising, emotional management, leadership skills, and dealing with people from all walks of life. My beloved class mentor said that I needed to contribute to my school in other ways, not just academically. I took on volunteer roles, leadership positions, and various other activities. Being a class leader, leader of several project and presentation groups, all added to the rubrics of study life. I even had a scholarship to study and do my practical in an Ivy League university, along with 2 others out of a cohort of 600 students.

Resilience is part of my character make-up. To bounce back from change, is something that we need to take in our stride. The pleasure of living is in the process, not the result. One more thing that is vital for living is tenacity. Tenacity is to hold fast. Hold fast to the pillars in your life, such as your morals, values, principles, and loved ones.

I almost lost hold of my pillars in my life when I was kicked out of my course. Do not let this happen to you. When you feel down, always look up! The sun will always rise. When there is life, there is hope. Let’s enjoy our life rollercoaster to the fullest!

References

Resilience. (n.d.). Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary. Retrieved June 02, 2009, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.classic.reference.com/browse/resilience

I took part in the International Speeches and Table Topics Contest and won the International Speeches Contest!!!

Jubilations!!!  I literally jumped and was on a high ever since!

I’ll like to thank all my wonderful and encouraging supporters, especially to Hua and Gary!!!  Thank you for your physical presence, which gave me added strength and charisma!  Thank you for your uplifting words of encouragement which gave me added motivation to speak better and better!  Without all of you, I would not be where I am today.

Without listeners, there would be no speakers – Yip Pei Shan

Remember my message.  Trophies will fade, but the message I share with you, I want it to be imprinted in your hearts and gain inspiration when you need it.  You are never alone!

A big thank you to my mentors, friends, Shun, mum, who have guided me in their own special ways. Thank you! Last but not least, to my late Grandfather, my inspiration and icon who lives in the hearts of everyone who loves him, this is for YOU!

Congratulations’ wishes from some loved ones

“When you take part, it’s a walkover.  The others are just wasting their time!  Congratulations!” Grace Soo

“Congratulations!  Excellent speech!”  Yong Jinhua

“You did great today …!  And again, congrats on your first winning with more first prizes to come! …” Gary Loy

“You won?  Congratulations!  I knew you are the best!” Anita Yip

“Congrats, well done champ..:)” Sylvester Dorai

“Well done …” Gea Ban Peng

“Wow!  Congratulations!” Brennan Khor

“Congratulations Peishan!  Your passion on making people happy through your speeches and life outlook is overwhelming.  Keep it up!” Christine Gonzales and Marco Rubi-Cruz

“Congrats!:)” Azizah Sapari

“Nice!  Congrats! …” Darren Lim

“Wow!  Congrats!  That’s good news! … Can’t wait to see you speak again!  Wish you all the best and hope you can make it to the international level!” He Huang Xin

“Congrats!” Lim Hock Ming

“Congrats!” Au Ji Yin

“Congratulations.  Wow.  All the best … you will do just great.  Keep it up!” Michael Chang

“Congrats.” Samsudin

“Wow.  Congratulations:D  Must celebrate …!” Serena Lim

“Wow congrats! …” Kong Xieheng

“Congrats.” Jerlynn Ang

“Congratulations!  You are great:D” Nicole Tuo

“Wow that’s great! Congratulations:) …” Divya Shankar

“Congrats Peishan I’m really happy for you… I’m inspired by you:)” Kiranjeet Kaur

“Congrats!” Koh Chi Wei

“Hey Peishan, congrats …”  Brian Wong Jia Jie

“Congrats(:  Will look forward to hearing your speech once again…” Sally Tan

“Congratulations:)  Shan!  You can be international champion!  Keep it up! …” Lwin

“Congratulations my shining friend!  Keep reaching for the stars!” Dexter David

“Oh great. Congratulations…” Gopal Srinivasan

“Hey, well done!…” Byron Nifakis

“… Congrats …” Sng Yao Le

“1st place?  Congrats:)” Gerald Ong

“Congrats!  Well done! …” Wekie Tay

“Congratulations to you.  Keep up the good work…” Jenny Au

“Congrats!  You certainly are an inspiration to us…” Alvin Ong

“Well done!  I know you can do it! …” Bai Jinshun

“Congratulations!:D” Weng

“Ha ha I am sure no one is your match because you are the best…” Tavis Tan

“Well done, I’m up there flying with you! No idea what it is but I’m sure you were fabulous … Well done Shan, you are still an inspiration to me.” Felicity Picken

“Congrats… So happy for ya. …” Jessica Tang

“Congratulations” Willy Wong

“Congrats!” Evelyn Goh

“Congrats! Hip! Hip! Hooray!” Jean Lee

“Hi Shanshine, that’s absolutely great! Expected nothing less from you.Just fly…..” Klaus Nienhaus

“Congratulations!” Patricia Tan

“That’s great, congratulations dear!” Wenjing

“Congratulations Pei Shan! Am so glad for you” Antonia Beetsma

“Well done, Ringlets, you deserve it!” John Bittleston

“What a marvellous success! Congratulations!” Cathy Chen

“Congrats! You are a good + clever girl… Cheers…” Jessie Lee

“Congratulations. …” Edmund Chew

“Congratulations!! This feeling of winning is always great.” Ang Chew Hoe

“Congrats!” Daphne Loo

“Well done Pei Shan. I shall have to come and watch your next performance.” Dennis Heath

“Wow. that’s great. Congrats…..” Fredy Siloy

“Wow you have won!  Congrats..” Emeline Koh

“Congratulations Shan! May the Sun Shine on you Shanshine!” Coen Tan

“Well done! *pats*” Alvin Ho

“Congrats.. It’s a nice feeling to be a champ …” Sylvia Ang

“Wow! Congratulations! =D” Joanne Ng

“Shan, Congrats ~ Congrats ~ on your winning of the international speeches contest )
Am sure you will do even better as time goes by..:)) :p” Yu Long

“… congratulations on your victory! I KNEW you could do it!
Keep reaching for the top, and know that I’m pulling for you, ALL THE WAY!!” Ed Hearn

“You must be really good to win that…keep it up.  Congratulations… wish you [the] very best and I believe you can…cheers” Serena Lim

Due to several requests, I will oblige by restating the popular Shan’s MOMENTs’ acronym.  This is tracked back to Free Stories-Alive! series: MOMENTs in time (Most Touching Story!).

What does MOMENT mean to me?

M: Be the MASTER of your life.

O: Be OPEN to the full spectrum of emotions, thoughts and experiences you feel.

M: Make every MOMENT count.

E: ENJOY each emotion, thought and experience.

N: Just do it NOW!

T: TELL one person one reason for loving them each day.

I was sharing with Alex yesterday, money can be earned back, but time cannot be earned back.  Once the MOMENT in time is gone, it is gone.  Savour each MOMENT, Master your life, be Open, Enjoy, just do it NOW, Tell someone one reason you love them.

I am listening to Gregorian’s Once In A Lifetime, wind rustling in my hair, experiencing complete contentment and peace in MY MOMENT.  What are you doing in your MOMENT NOW?

Do you have zest for life?  Zest is the last of the 24 strengths in the VIA, and is categorised under Transcendence.  Vigorous and enthusiastic enjoyment encapsulates zest (Zest, n.d.)!

September 13th is my first performance on the big stage in a grand theatre.  Having been to Victoria Concert Hall several times as a spectator, it is a dream come true not only to intimately experience the performance area, but also to experience first hand a live performance on stage, with a 500-strong audience!

Awesome is the word, zest is my feeling!  Have you experienced totality in your encounters and activities?  Do you experience the passionate drive that fires up your engine for the entire 24 hours?

Looking at the positive aspect of things does wonders.  I conducted an experiment on searching for positives, and I’m getting addicted to it!  Cars vacate their parking lots when we arrive in the carpark, seats become instantly available when we arrive at a restaurant, great offers abound with each corner turned in shopping malls, and countless other positives occur when I take the effort to search for it!

Furthermore, testament to my search for positives, my singing group and me have the honourable privilege to perform in the Shanghai Arts Festival in China!  Better still, we will be performing together with the best Chinese singers as well!  This privilege is very much coveted by many Singaporean singing groups, which makes it even more precious.

Having a zest for your life, and to build in a natural search for positives, colours your life into a rainbow of spirit, passion and drive.  By your very own zest, you become an inspiration for others to follow in your footsteps.

Have a zest for life, because

Living

Is

Fantastically

Excellent!

References

Zest. (n.d.). WordNet® 3.0. Retrieved September 10, 2008, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/zest

Yes, and if so, even more important in today’s context.

What is authenticity? Authenticity, one of the VIA‘s strengths, is defined as “owning one’s personal experiences, be they thoughts, emotions, needs, preferences, or beliefs, processes captured by the injunction to know oneself” and “behaving in accordance with the true self” (Harter, 2002, p. 382). In essence, authenticity is being real and true to yourself.

Definitely, authenticity is vital in the extrapersonal (dealing with groups of individuals), interpersonal (dealing on a one-on-one basis) and intrapersonal (dealing with yourself) domains. However, the crux of the issue lies not in being authentic, but in daring to be authentic.

Wanting to be authentic is one thing, however, having the courage to be authentic is another. Sometimes in our interactions with people, we may display a certain measure of inauthenticity. For example, when we are thrown into an unfamiliar situation where we need to collaborate with strangers, we may display our best behaviour or perhaps inhibit our personality. Reasons for doing so may be attributed to our extroversion-introversion levels and our defence mechanisms (examples such as negative feelings caused by being judged by others, our insecurities and our confidence levels).

My point is, do not let your negativities restrict your authentic self. Instead, let your authenticity shine. By being authentic, greater self-esteem, better psychological well-being, increased feelings of friendliness and heightened performance may be experienced (Grandey, Fiske, Mattila, Jansen, & Sideman, 2005). This translates into holistic happiness and radiant health. In other words, this suggests greater efficiency and effectiveness at work, deeper satisfaction and involvement in relationships, as well as a keener and developed self-awareness.

How can we be authentic? A powerful blueprint could be Bill George’s (2003) concept called Authentic leadership with three main points:

1. Self-awareness

Understand ourselves especially our strengths and weaknesses. Understand also the sparkles within us that encapsulate our self. Moreover, gain insights into ourselves and become aware of our influence on others. This may be achieved through people interactions and psychological interventions.

2. Develop and practice your values

Determine, enhance and enforce your values in all situations. Our values are visible in the actions we perform, and staying true to our values inspires trust, building on our authenticity.

3. Lead with your heart

Be open and share of yourself with others fully. Also, inculcate and show a genuine interest in others. Inspire others with your empathy, compassion, passion and courage. And always listen, listen and listen.

Are you ready to be authentic?

References

George, B. (2003). Authentic leadership: Rediscovering the secrets to creating lasting value. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Grandey, A. A., Fiske, G. M., Mattila, A. S., Jansen, K .J., & Sideman, L. A. 2005. Is “service with a smile” enough? Authenticity of positive displays during service encounters. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 96: 38-55.

Harter, S. 2002. Authenticity. In C. R. Snyder & S. J. Lopez (Eds.), Handbook of positive psychology: 382-394. London: Oxford University Press.

This sparklet of wisdom was inspired by the sunlight shining on the beautiful crystals hanging on my table light. Crystals are beautiful, and their beauty is enhanced when a light is focussed on them. A light transforms the crystal from a clear silence into a myriad of rainbow colours! Furthermore, these colours extend beyond the parameters of the crystal, lighting up everything they touch.

Like crystals, we need a light to shine upon us. A light can be anything or anyone who brings out the best in us. The sparkles within us is the core of our being. It is the potential within us that is brought forth, and wins people over.

Check out this exercise:

1. Find your light. Look for at least 3 lights. For example, some of my lights are my mum, the wind and sunshine and my best friend.

2. Get aware of what you are feeling and thinking. For example, happy, satisfied, fun, creative, analytical and generous.

3. Observe the words and behaviour of the people around you. Are they listening intently to you? Are they smiling or laughing at your words and actions? Are they being fired up by you?

Try out these steps for 1-4 weeks and see what happens. I will love to hear your personal experience with this exercise!  Let’s turn on our sparkles!!!

I believe there is an abundance of knowledge and power, and ever increasing goodness as well. The crux lies in using our signature strengths, and in particular, how well we use our signature strengths. The flow diagram below details the stages of signature strengths.

1. Self-awareness of signature strengths concept

2. Identification of signature strengths

3. Application of signature strengths

4. Mastery of signature strengths

As seen in the flow diagram above, we can contribute to knowledge, power and goodness at any stage.  The only difference is that with using and mastering our signature strengths, compared with just being aware of and knowing our signature strengths, we can lead increasingly meaningful lives with the least effort expended and most happiness guaranteed.

What is the meaningful life in aid of?  The mindless augmenting and pursuit of knowledge?  The bottomless thirst for power?  The pious search and protests for goodness?

In these times of excess, the awareness for excellence is greater.  What is excellence?  Excellence is quality.  Quality knowledge and quality power.  This leads to another question.  What is quality?  Quality is governed by choice and goodness.  We have the choice to choose our knowledge and our power, and this choice is influenced by our definition of goodness.

In summary, a meaningful life contributes to the proliferation of knowledge, power and goodness.  A need for excellence, in terms of quality, is required to select the appropriate knowledge and power to lead a meaningful life spearheaded by what we call goodness.

References

Seligman, M. E. P. (2002). Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realise Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment. New York: Simon & Schuster.

After several terrific talks and a long absence from speaking due to a nasty flu, I am back with a vengeance!

In my eighth and ninth speeches entitled Shanshine your sunshine!, I will introduce the concept of shanshining, what sunshine is in relation to happiness, and why Happiness Coaching is great for you! A little shanshiney gift will be given at the end of the session!

I invite you to the eighth and ninth of my Positive Psychology series in Singapore presented on two days. Details as follows:

• Topic: Shanshine your sunshine!

• Venue: ITMA Toastmasters, NUSS Suntec City Guild House, Suntec City Mall 05-001, Singapore
• Date: 16 May 2008
• Time: 7-10pm

• Venue: NTU Alumni and West Coast Toastmasters, NTU Alumni Club, Level 9, 11 Slim Barracks Rise, Singapore
• Date: 17 May 2008
• Time: 2-5pm

I look forward to seeing you there!

With love,
Pei Shan

A few weeks back, I remembered having a burning curiosity about the timing gadget used in a meeting.  I got so engaged in finding out about this marvellous gadget, how the buttons worked, what made up the lights; I started leaning forward and nearly fell off my chair while doing it.  Sylvester, the gadget operator, was eyeing me in silent mirth.

At this point in time, I am experimenting writing this in a public setting.  Distractions of all natures arouses my curiosity.  What I am doing is to have a change in environment, to ignite a different perspective in doing things.

Curiosity opens up many more doors than you think.  It broadens your perspective and gives life a playful and refreshing slant.  A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, why not learn more?